i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
