Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We had to coat check the pizza.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
