Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
