I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
