Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize