Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
