Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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