I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
