Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize