It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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