u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
