Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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