Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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