I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
