He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
