you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize