Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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