Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
