i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
