What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
