walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize