...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
