rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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