I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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