I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize