CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
