You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
please come you make the beer taste better
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
