The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
