His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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