I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Congratulations! We have a period
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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