Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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