these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
