I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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