She said her name was "party"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
