Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
