Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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