Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
