I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
