go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
