just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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