i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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