Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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