Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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