My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
