I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
