I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Randomize
