Moan for me like Helen Keller
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
well you can't waste a boner
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
