White coat. Heels.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
