youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
