i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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