Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
