How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I look better un-naked...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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