Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry aramer hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

You did not just nickname me "Nipples".

Fav 22 4009 1716
share tweet
(216): View more from Ohio

Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.

(440): View more from Ohio

Honestly, what else do I have going for me?

(216): View more from Ohio

You make a valid point.

Fav 22 1947 4084
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.

Fav 11 3994 1155
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.

Fav 9 3056 926
share tweet
(252): View more from North Carolina

He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

Fav 6 843 1212
share tweet
(949): View more from California

July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31

Fav 9 2379 703
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.

Fav 6 1119 1126
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.

Fav 3 557 1012
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(641): View more from Iowa

I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.

Fav 0 56 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT