Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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