why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
