Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Come see our sink grown plant.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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