wrigley field is MILF paradise
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
