just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Damn victory sex feels great
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
