I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
