Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
