That's intense
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
