He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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