I feel like abortions should bother me more
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
