guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
